The Talking Microwave

Sure, I emit radiation, but I also emit love. Wait. Come back.

Hey! I have a new button for popcorn! And another one for pizza!

You won’t believe the things Stove says when you’re not around. That guy is hilarious.

Micronutrients? Seems dangerous… I’ll get rid of those for you.

Reminder: You can use my popcorn and pizza buttons for popcorn and pizza!

Five beeps is for completion; three beeps is for mating; one beep is just for fun.

My dad is pretty famous, I guess – He was on Kitchen Nightmares.

My mom? She’s ex-military. After she raised me and Toaster, she picked up a couple night shifts as an astronomical interferometer in the Atacama Desert of northern Chile. Thanks for asking.

Vitamins? Seems dangerous… I’ll get rid of those for you.


Those were some nasty hot dogs, man.

I wanted to talk about what Stove said the other day. It’s just, like, he was under a lot of stress after a long day in the kitchen. We all were. He didn’t mean what he said… we had a great time seeing you at your improv show, really.

Just once. Please, just once. Use the popcorn and pizza buttons. You could be so much more, if you used the popcorn and pizza buttons.

[When girls are around] Hey, you girls want to meet my fat stack (of pancakes)?

I have a fun idea: CLEAN ME