90's Internet Slang Adapted to Future and Hypothetical Eras

Slang Modern Definition Possible Adaptation for a Far, Future Era Possible Adaptation for a Human-Subjugated, Fruit-Dominated Era
ASL Age / Sex / Location Age / Safety Protocol / Location Age / Season / Location
G2G Got to go Got to glow Got to grow
H&K Hugs and kisses Humans are kinky Humans are killers
IANAL I am not a lawyer I am not a (space) lawyer I am not a lemon
IDK I don't know I do know I'm dating a kiwi (and you're just going to have to deal with it, Dad)
NIFOC Nude in front of computer Nude in front of comet Nude in front of cucumber
P911 Parent Emergency! Planet Emergency!! Pesticide Emergency!!!
TGIF Thank God it's Friday Thank God I'm flameproof Thank God I'm fruit
TNSTAAFL There's no such thing as a free lunch There's no such thing as a free (space) launch Tri-state North Seedless Tomatoes: Allies and Advocates for Fair Labor
<3 A human heart
(how sweet)
A human heart
(how archaic)
A human heart
(revenge!)