“The Metropolitan Museum of Art announced on Thursday it would start charging mandatory admission fees to out-of-state visitors, a policy change that will provide revenue for the Met and bring the museum’s business model in line with its global peers. It will also deprive New York of one of its most extraordinary, egalitarian traditions, a rare offering that had lingered from the city’s fading commitment to common public life." —Henry Grabar of Slate (magazine)
Visiting New York City (or, as we call it: The Biggest Apple) this spring? Then you're in luck! Since The Met will be charging admissions for everyone but New Yorkers soon, I've compiled a list of 5 fun, budget-friendly activities for all you genial out-of-staters. Here they are, in no particular order.
- Get mugged! (Free if you're not carrying anything of value.)
- Try to recreate the biggest cultural phenomenon of 2015: Avocado Rat.
- Speaking of rats, take a lesson from Enrico Salvatore "Ratso" Rizzo himself, and yell, "Hey! [while dropping a cigarette, which you should obviously be smoking], I'm walking here!!! I'm walking here!!! Up Yours, you Son of a Bitch; you don't talk to me that way! Get out of here!" Afterwards, look to see if any independent film directors noticed your performance.
- Stop being a namby-pamby and tell a stranger that they're looking swell. Here are some helpful examples:
- "You're looking swell!"
- [If April] "If I may be so bold, Madam, you're looking lovelier than a mayflower, and I do believe we're approaching May."
- [If May] "If I may be so bold, Madam, you're looking lovelier than a mayflower, and I do believe it is May."
- [If Foghorn Leghorn] "If I may, If I may, I say: If I may be so bold, Boy, you're looking lovelier than a mayflower, and I-I-I do, I-I do believe it is May! Hey, Boy! Pay attention when I'm talking to you!"
- Sneak into The Met.
See you soon!